A story of completely true stories



“No, I Won’t Take You to the Airport!" literally made me quit my job. Courtney's performance is funny the whole way through even when you're sobbing and re-thinking your entire life. It struck every chord inside my body. She is beyond fabulous, I'd leave Santa Monica in rush hour traffic to see this show any day of the week.” -Bonnie Lalich

"By far the most insightful, witty and wonderful one-person ride I've ever been on. Impeccable in every way.” -Paul Rusconi

"Courtney Abbiati is America's next golden girl of comedy. Beautiful, clever, daring, vivacious, raw, sexy, thoughtful, and downright hilarious.  Think - the modern day Lucille Ball.  She's it!" -Wanda Wen

"Riveting, insightful, and often laugh-out-loud hilarious, Courtney Abbiati's, "No, I Won't Take You to the Airport!" is a show you do not want to miss. Ms. Abbiati's performance is unforgettable and the underlying message in her show is a lesson we all need to hear, learn, and apply in our own lives. Must watch!” -Jimmy Wu

"I know what it’s like to commit to plans after a long day of work but trust me, you won't regret this.  I said it once and I’ll say it again: you will laugh, you will cry and you will be able to relate.  Courtney is open and honest.  She takes you on a walk down the most sensitive and charming eras of her life.  You'll leave wanting to tell everyone you know about this show so they will be able to share in what a special experience this show is.” -Maryn Silverberg

"No, Courtney won't take you to the airport, but she'll make you laugh, warm your heart, and generally make you fall in love with her - all consolation prizes worth many, many Uber rides to the airport.” -Melaine Kain

"I've seen "No, I Won't Take You to the Airport!" multiple times, and each time it gets better. I can't wait to go back, and think, laugh, cry and be inspired again. Thank you so much Courtney Abbiati." -Chris Vanger

“Courtney Abbiati gives a truly moving performance in her brilliant one woman show, "No, I Won't Take You to the Airport!" I laughed and I cried as I sat in awe of this tremendously talented and beautiful author-actor. Bravo and then some! I loved it." -Robin Anderson

"Her performance takes me on an emotional journey. This is a must see.” -Marshall Barnes

"Courtney's energy, raw honesty, and stage presence keeps you wide-eyed and dialed in for the entire immersive experience. The definition of the phrase 'must see.'” -Chip Thomas

“I went on a first date. She laughed, she cried, she became my girlfriend. All credit goes to Courtney Abbiati and  “No, I Won’t Take you to the Airport!” for making me seem a man of taste and substance. Personal and universal in her storytelling, Courtney had us in the palm of her hand.” -James Krisel

"A heartwarming & hysterical look on finding yourself at any age." -Emily Ionescu

"Courtney delivers an all consuming performance that leaves you wanting more... truly a great show not worth missing.” -David Lukan

"RUN !!!!...Don't walk to this entertaining show that will take you on a journey you wish didn't end. You will laugh, you will cry and you will feel invigorated to wake the next morning to take a healthy bite out of life.  Also, 'Calling Julia Roberts: Go See Your Pretty Woman Doppelgänger!’” -Leslie Judge

“I had no idea how entertaining one person could be. Singing, dancing, laughter and tears. It’s all there!” -Nikki Erwin

"I can honestly say that was the first time I didn't regret going to see a show. It was everything I'd want a show to be.” -Devin Greaney

"Courtney is BRILLIANT! Funny, talented, gorgeous and did I say brilliant? Can't wait to see it again!" -Caroline Bray

"‘No, I Won’t Take You to the Airport!’ slyly says everything that you’re thinking. Courtney Abbiati has the ability to make you laugh, cry and think critically about your life and wtf you’re doing in it. She is captivating and brilliant and her stories will have you leaving inspired and in awe. Witness the GREATNESS and I guarantee you won’t be disappointed!” -Sheena Marie Aquino Rodriguez

"Courtney's show is fun, authentic and deep. Her comedy was amazing, I had an outrageous time. I would recommend her show to anyone!” -Brandon Elliott

"Courtney's show is hilarious!  The stories she tells are heartfelt and personal but the themes of self love and remaining true to your dreams are universal.  And if you want to see a beautiful woman from Jersey do the best Indian accent this side of Calcutta you've gotta go!!!” -Ann Riley